job

so i hear tonight that my boss fired me, actually i'd had enough and i chose to quit, i stopped going to work for him staurday morning, the man can't accept the fact that someone that worked for him chose to quit, this is the truth, dude smokes way too much pot,can't i find someone on this island to work for that is normal.troy

books

i'm reading a really good book about the early 60's that takes place in jackson mississippi,it's about the black housekeepers that worked for all the white families, and i tell you what those women basically hated all the white women they had to serve, it's a fascinating book and i really think all you southern women need to read it, it's a first novel by Katherine Stockett called "the help"she's a white women who grew up in jackson,i read it once and turned around and started to readit again and i'm almost done with it,i also just read dan browns new one called the symbol and thats typical dan brown blah blah blah,i'm bring the bible as history with me and dreamland and blaze,the bible as history is great because it shows the archaeology of the bible,dreamland is manhattan in the 1910's and blaze is good murder

hey

well i go in at 9:30 tomorrow morning and i'm really looking forward to this, i just finished packing,i cleaned the house for the tim and did every piece of laundry in the house,showed him how to take care of the papayas and pineapples,picked a bunch of sugar apples to take with and a bag of my papaya seeds, there is enough land up there i figured i'd start an orchard while i'm there,i really hope the tim uses the time i'm gone wisely and stops doing drugs and booze,he's not going to be able to afford alot of either now that he has ALL the bills,i left my aa/na books out for him if he so chooses and he's always known where the meeting house is in town, he's also been told that he's going to have to come up once a week for "therapy" and if my father and oldest younger sister decided to show up as well that would be fine too,lots and lots to talk about.

can't sleep

lol same old same old can't sleep so i cruise the internet, i go to the site i used to post on all the time and i see now from a distance it's the same dumb ass people posting the same dumb ass questions, the why why why questions that have driven me up the wall for 10 years or so,read people, read the old posts before you ask the same dumb ass questions, READ, how many wish they want to livehere and then bore us all to death with their questions that they never took the time to search on and then never move here?

hey

i just switched back the blog comments,i'm not sure what i was doing wrong

hey

well everyone if you followed me on the relocation message board you are quite aware i've been in meltdown mode for the last year and i've finally reached the end of my rope so i leave for rehab tomorrow or wednesday,i decided not to leave island but to go into the village here for 3 to 6 months,i need to cleanse my mind body and soul so i'm looking at this as a spiritual retreat so i can get on with the last half of my life,i need to work through my anger and rage, and i need a break from the tim,lol i'm gonna miss the muscular puerto rican tatted construction worker though,he told me last night that he's probably going back to PR at the end of the month,oh well bisexual puerto ricans are a dime a dozen another one will come along,anita you once said i was a tortured genius not i need to see if i can be a genius without being tortured,the only thing i worry about as i embark on this new adventure is that i'll lose my cutting edge wit,humour and panache,god forbid i should end up boring

love and lust

LOL i'm in lust with a 20 something year old PR construction worker with tats that i think is as dumb as a box of rocks but he's hot and i'm in love with the mind and intellect of an 81 year old man,such a quandry, the 81 year old told me tonight when he gets rich again which he will he's retiring to the south of france and i said will you take me with you and he said without a beat yes,lol we've developed a really good friendship over the years,he has the best stories,he's living history and i just want to be around him all the time,oh he's a str8 guy don't get me wrong,lol is it possible to fall in love with a mind?

america

i have to wonder whats happening up in america lately,2 weeks ago or so we had the little 7 year old girl murdered in florida,then we had the gang rape in oakland,then yesterday the fort hood thing and today again in florida a guy going postal in his old office, we had 11 bodies in a house in cleveland,the craigslist killer and the janitor at yale,the kids killed in chicago,what is going on up there,has the water been poisoned? the food supply?i'm not sure i'd ever want to live there again,it's happening on puerto rico as well a bunch of people were killed at a bar a couple of weeks ago,it really makes you wonder whats going on,for the most part our crime and murder here on stx is drug related,i have to wonder what a sociologist would have to say about all this

hey

a few years back my father offered to pay off my mortgage and sell the house if i'd dump the tim,and then when i was in omaha he kept harping on the fact that i need to dump the tim,everyone i know including tim's family says i need to dump him and move on,no one realizes that he's the great love of my life,good or bad,you see he came along when i was alone,he understood me,he got me,he figured out my walls,he knew when to leave me alone and when not too,he just knew all this shit and thats why i can't leave,i've been seeing someone lately but it'll never work out,oh the sex is good but there's no connection other than sex,oh he's great looking, you know in the puerto rican construction worker with tats mode but thats it,i don't even like the guy,he justs looks good,lol ok he looks great but still all i can think of is the tim and how we used to be before the drugs took over our lives and i keep thinking we can somehow get back to those days,i'm so fucked up right now my mind is a mess,i'm lonely,scared and confused

music

the song that best defines my life is "disarm" by the smashing pumpkins, i can listen to this song over and over,followed by "hunger strike" by temple of the dog

hey

well he's got some crackhead over there with him now and the guy keeps coming over here and asking me through the window if i want to party, i keep telling him no go away and he keeps coming back,my nerves are about shot at this point,i'm actually shaking,i need to get off this island for awhile

hey

well i'm watching movies on my side and he has himself barricaded on his side watching porn and smokin crack,i could hear the dogs trying to get out so i went and looked,i know he'll quit when it's his time but jeez it's just so hard to know what he's doing,lol we used to be a really good team, i figured thats why he wanted to go over there,lol so he could smoke crack in peace

hey

well tim is in the process of moving into the 3rd of the house that was just painted,it has a greatroom a bedroom and a bath,so i guess the separation is complete,oh we'll still share the kitchen but at least i won't have to watch him get drunk all the time,i'm also on my second week of being vegetarian, that all started a week ago when i ordered a club sand to go from a downtown restaurant and i got it home and took a bite and the ham was sour, that was the last straw for me,so no more meat and that includes fish,chicken and turkey,it was a little had at first because i wanted to fill up on bread all the time,i still indulge in cheese and eggs,lol i am from minnesota after all.to my sister have you registered with the derpt of labor yet and have you gotten a voter id card yet, if you want an office job with a edc company you need those 2 things,my papayas are thriving as are the pineapples,work is really slow right now and i'm down to 4 shifts a week until things pick up