hey

a few years back my father offered to pay off my mortgage and sell the house if i'd dump the tim,and then when i was in omaha he kept harping on the fact that i need to dump the tim,everyone i know including tim's family says i need to dump him and move on,no one realizes that he's the great love of my life,good or bad,you see he came along when i was alone,he understood me,he got me,he figured out my walls,he knew when to leave me alone and when not too,he just knew all this shit and thats why i can't leave,i've been seeing someone lately but it'll never work out,oh the sex is good but there's no connection other than sex,oh he's great looking, you know in the puerto rican construction worker with tats mode but thats it,i don't even like the guy,he justs looks good,lol ok he looks great but still all i can think of is the tim and how we used to be before the drugs took over our lives and i keep thinking we can somehow get back to those days,i'm so fucked up right now my mind is a mess,i'm lonely,scared and confused